The never-ending battle with mum guilt

When I had my son somebody said to me "congratulations, you will now spend the rest of your life worrying and feeling guilty" and they were right. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be the 'perfect' parent when there is no such thing, we are all only human and we all make mistakes and have bad days.

We have all done things we shouldn't of when it comes to raising our kids that we feel awfully guilty about, its really important to remember that when we are flicking through magazines and scrolling through social media that those pretty and perfect mums we are all admiring are showing you a polished version of their lives, not the real thing.

I have had my fair share of #mumfails that have left me in tears and feeling like the worst mum in the world. One time I had been quickly trying to get out of the house, I wasn't thinking and I put my son in the pram but didn't strap him incorrectly. I pushed the pram down a step and he flew out of the pram onto the pavement and hit his head. I cried more than he did. Luckily my partner was with us at the time and he took control of the situation and got both me and my son to stop crying.

Even in just day to day life, we feel guilty over the silliest of things, for losing our temper for a moment, not being able to get our toddlers to eat any vegetables, accidentally bumping their heads on the car as we get them out the car seat, the list could go on and on. We spend all day feeling guilty so its no wonder we are knackered by the end of the day and spend the little free time we have indulging in a Netflix binge and eating an entire packet of chocolate biscuits rather than washing the dishes that are piled high in the sink (another thing we feel guilty about).

There is no real 'cure' for mum guilt but there are a few small things you could do to give yourself a break:

  • Focus on your accomplishments rather than your downfalls, you may have lost your cool for a moment after the 10th tantrum of the day but stop beating yourself up about it and pat yourself on the back for keeping calm the other nine times your child screamed at you for something ridiculous.

  • Stop comparing yourself to other mums and criticizing yourself. We are all just trying our best and doing what we believe is best for our babies, so Susie from playgroup has never given her baby a dummy? So what. Debra from next door says co-sleeping makes clingy babies and her son sleeps perfectly in his own cot. Well good for you deb. We all have our own opinions when it comes to raising our children, what works for some of us may not work for others so stop comparing yourself and do what's right for you and your baby without fear of judgment, all the Susie's and Debra's of the world can go f*** themselves. You do you mama!

  • Lastly, embrace it. No matter what we do we are all going to feel guilty about something at some point no matter how positive minded you are. So my advice to you is to embrace that guilt and laugh, look at yourself from an outsiders point of view and see how silly your being and have a good old giggle at your own expense, after all, laughter IS the best medicine.

All images © 2020 Beth Bluck. All rights reserved. 


Privacy policy and Disclaimer